61 days…and counting

It’s been 61 days and I still don’t know the official cause of death for my Brother.  We don’t have an official death certificate, which means we don’t have proof enough to take care of business that is still hanging in the wind.  Shouldn’t my words be enough?  Our family just went through hell and you won’t close a bank account without an official death certificate?  And yes…as much guilt as it brings to admit it…I do need my savings back…a process that can’t begin without proper documentation.  I still can’t allow myself to consider the possibility of what will happen if they type the words “Suicide” on the line.  According to everyone else, including the investigator, it wasn’t…but according to the ME, it depends on the amount of medication in his system.  I can only hope that the life insurance will still cover it.  Its more than just the insurance…it’s the closure we need.  We need to know everything is taken care of…so maybe we can stop focusing on the unimportant things, and focus on getting past it.

moving right along

Yesterday was a whirlwind of immigration preparation madness.  I had to take the day off work to get everything in order…and so glad I did because I would have never gotten finished with it if I hadn’t.

First stop, after printing out all the forms I had to take, was the medical exam.  Loved the Dr.!  He was such a sweet man.  Even though his office was inside a huge new building, he still had a wooden exam table and old wood furniture from the old days.  Seriously he has been practicing 40 years.   Everything seemed fine and I got my x-ray and went on my merry way.  I stopped in to the police station to get my finger prints for the FBI clearance.  Those people are jerk-faces.  But I got them done and sent them off with the mail yesterday.  Then I had to take care of getting my car put into my name.  I thought it would be cheaper than buying my tags for a whole year, but nope…between the new title fee, new tag fee, and registration until July…it came out to the exact same amount.  Oh well.  I worried how I would be able to remember a new tag, and then she handed it to me.  “BJR ####”  I called my Brother Jr.  How could I forget that?   Just a small little sign I didn’t neglect to notice.

It was a super busy day…but got tons accomplished.  This morning the embassy processed our payment for the visa…so we should be assigned a CO pretty soon.  Once we have a CO I’ll be able to send in the stat. decs. from Mat’s family.  The medical info will be ready to be express shipped in about 3-6 days, and I have requested to get back the FBI info by the 1st.  Don’t know if I will be that lucky, but I’ll keep my fingers crossed!

face lift.

Life is like a novel…a really long, unpredictable novel.  And in that novel there are chapters, just as there are stages in our lives.  Originally I started this blog to remember the little precious, and not so precious, moments in my life…just as my Great Grandma had done when she wrote the story of her life at 75.  Something told me I wouldn’t remember my first day of school at 75…maybe it was the fact that I don’t remember it now and I am only 25.  Marriage was a new chapter in my life….and I felt it needed to be documented.  I have kept up with this blog for a year now.  I’ve covered the “honeymoon phase”, which we are still, and hope to always be in.  I have been debating about starting a new blog for our next chapter in life: Australia.  Of course, I feel like I have so many things going on that I could have a separate blog for them all…my life as a wife, losing my brother, moving to Australia…they could all take on blogs of their own.  Or I could just keep the past I have already recorded and give this site a face lift and use the “categories” more seriously.  I haven’t really decided yet.  Actually, I think I just gave myself a good idea.  I have been posting about every step of the way…from making the decision, to sending in the application…and I think the preparation is just as important as the first day of arrival.  I know I have learned SO MUCH from other expat’s blogs, and I hope I can influence someone else to take the leap across the pond.  So yeah…a facelift.  A new focus is in order.  Admittedly, I will still write about my Brother.  I will still write about my life as a wife.  I will still continue to let my blog be my anchor to sanity…and people can just hit the “Australia” tab if they want to read about that.  Yep.  That’s my plan.

I’ll continue to keep up with things the way they are….I feel it is a little too early to list my blog with the Expats.  It’s like buying baby clothes as soon as you find out the test is positive.  Just not a good omen.  Once the visa is approved, the changes will come.  In the mean time…here’s our current SHORT timeline.

Nov 30 – Mailed application

Dec 2 – Application arrived in DC

Dec 7 – Getting medical exam, x-rays, and fingerprints

day one.

I spent my lunch break today in line at the crowded post office full of anxious, angry, impatient people.  I carefully filled out the address lines with the Australian Embassy’s Washington DC address.  I was shaking when I handed the envelope over to the clerk.  This is it…I am $1280.00, and soon to be $2,003.00 once the medicals and Mat’s paperwork is complete, vested in this decision.  There is no turning back now.  After all was said and done I realized I only included one passport photo of Mat when there should have been two.  But that’s ok, I hope, as I will send it in when I send in the stat. dec. papers from his parents.  My medical exam is scheduled, and fingerprints will be taken that morning.  Then that’s it…it will just be a waiting game from then on.  I keep up with the timelines of other applicants…the last USA applicant that posted got hers in exactly 2 months…so we will see.  That seems to be the average, but with the holidays coming they are going to be getting even busier.  I am hoping for 2 months as we want to get there and get a job in time to be there for a year before having to come back here…that way we’ll have a month paid vacation to come back on.  We. Are. So. Pushing. It.

black. friday.

I am very thankful that I do not yet have children to buy Christmas presents for. I am pretty sure that when I do, I will do all of my shopping on-line to avoid being trampled to death over a $3 pair of Dora the Explorer PJ’s. Pure insanity. I have never partaken in the black Friday shopping madness…or at least not before the sun came up. However, we were up at 3am and in line by 4am. My mom fell in the parking lot and then we found out they had been selling what we were there for since the day before and there was no reason for us to be there that early. I can say though, that for the first time since high school I bought myself some new clothes. Yes…I have been out of highschool for about 8 years, but I always find other things more important to spend my money on like food and student loan payments. I guess I should look at it from the perspective that at least I can still fit into my clothes from highschool and since I worked at Banana Republic at the time, most of it is still wearable these days. Anyway, because my mom fell in the parking lot she spent most of the weekend in bed. But Thanksgiving was nice. We cooked from 8am until 5pm….non-stop. For some reason anything I bake, I never want to eat. I don’t know why that is. I made some pumpkin pie bites that everyone seemed to love…but I only ate one. I didn’t even eat a slice of pumpkin pie! What is wrong with me!?! Wish I had some now though. Saturday night we met up with Anthony and his boyfriend and went downtown. Going out over Thanksgiving is a tradition….though we never made it to Fido’s unfortunately. I guess we will save going to see the lights at Opryland hotel and Fido’s for the Christmas visit. (If I don’t get laid off that is).  It is always great to go out and dance and have the dance floor clear off and watch you…then applaude you when you are finished.  It makes getting yelled at during practice worth it!!  Sunday we braved the traffic and made our way home. We put up our Christmas tree and listened to holiday music. Then we snuggled on the couch watching Christmas shows. I am trying so hard to finish my parent’s x-mas gifts, but I don’t know if I am going to make it in time or not. May have to switch to plan B on that. I am hoping to mail off my visa application today on my lunch break. I accidently left it at home so it depends on whether or not I can make it to the bank, home, and the post office in an hour. All we have left to do now is get my finger prints and medicals. I hate that both are only open during the hours I am at work. I wonder if I can get them both done in the ½ of PTO time I have left? We shall see. I managed to not get a single photo over Thanksgiving. I don’t know what it was, this year was just not what it usually is. It’s a pity since it was our last Thanksgiving in the states for a couple of years. Perhaps we will make up for it over Christmas.