things are different.

One would think that when coming home from another country it would be easy to just slip right back into the groove of things.  It’s interesting the things you don’t notice when you see them everyday or what you just get used to because it’s all you’ve ever known.

I remember back to the beginning of my time in Australia.  I thought the food was horrible.  My husband was mortified to come home to me sitting in a chair with a bag of sugar and a spoon because I was going through sugar withdraw.  I knew Australia’s food standards were stricter than in America —  it was one reason I felt I wanted to have our baby there because I knew I’d have a healthier pregnancy (as much as food plays a part in pregnancy).  I did a detox shortly after arriving in Oz, and right before I got pregnant.  My skin was flawless, my body lost all it’s “water weight”, and I felt great.  I noticed things only seemed to get better when we went additive/preservative free.  Coming back home has been a complete shock to my system — and my teeth!  Is there anything in America that does not contain high fructose corn syrup??  Seriously, it is EVERYWHERE.  Everything I put into my mouth is so full of sugar from bread to BBQ sauce.  Even the candy is sweeter (which I remember complaining about how the candy wasn’t sweet enough when getting to Oz).  It makes me kind of sick now.  Everything has a list a mile long of additives and preservatives as well…yuck, yuck, yuck.  It’s hard to do at the moment because we are not buying groceries, or cooking solely for ourselves, but when we do get out on our own it’s looking like more of a whole food diet for us.  I just can’t continue eating this way!  I wake up every morning all swollen — my rings that used to fall off of me in Australia are not leaving marks on my hands.  My hands and face are puffy and retaining water and I can only think that it is due to the amount of salt in the food my parents eat.  We do not add salt to anything really when we cook for ourselves.  Now I certainly am not saying that you can not find healthy food in America by any means…I’m just saying they allow a lot of things in the food here that is banned in Oz, and my family has different eating habits than we are accustomed to.  It’s going to take a lot more work here to be additive/preservative free than it did back in Australia, but once we are out on our own I intend to take it up again.

There are just little differences like prepaid cell phones.  We don’t want a plan because we don’t really know what our own plan is, so we don’t want to be tied to a contract.  In Australia, prepaid phones work whether you have credit in them or not.  Someone can always call or text you.  Here, if someone calls or texts you on a prepaid phone, it takes minutes off of your account.  Check cards and checks — people in Oz don’t really write checks, and no banks charge you to used your bank card as a debit card.  Recently in America, banks have started charging a monthly fee if you use your check card for anything other than the ATM.  WTF, dude…don’t you charge enough fees?!?  Talking on the phone while driving — I used to be SO guilty of this pre-Oz.  Texting, talking, whatever I did it all.  It’s illegal in Oz and I drove a manual so all of that stopped.  Now, it annoys me to no end to see people on their phones while driving.  Same with speeding.  I used to do it all the time, but after getting used to mobile speed cameras lurking around every corner, I’ve broken that habit as well.  Stop lights…in Australia they are located on the side, so we find that we keep looking in the wrong place for the light signals.  Cuts of meat — I was talking to my parents about how I would prepare rump steak and they had no idea what I was talking about…I still don’t know what the American translation of “rump steak” is.  There are no birds here!!!  I grew accustomed to seeing several different types of birds all over the place every single day…now I go outside and I might see some buzzards and a small bird here or there.  Where are all the birdies hiding?  You know what’s funny though…I can’t escape skinks….they were in our house in Australia, and they live right outside here at my parents.  Well, at least there are no wild blue tongues here.

When it comes to baby…I’ve now fed Tanami in the car like 5 times due to lack of breast feeding facilities.  It makes no difference to me to feed her in the middle of where ever I am — time’s square if I needed to — but it seems the most comfortable place is the car.  I won’t hesitate to feed her in public if need be, but I’d rather not be forced to do so on a hard park bench or something.  They just don’t have designated “feeding rooms”, and no, a disabled bathroom stall is not somewhere to breast feed!  I also don’t see many babies in strollers.  I guess this is because the malls are different here and we don’t have centralized places to go shopping.  It’s just weird to me not to be bombarded by women pushing prams.  There are not well-baby clinics, parent groups, or play groups put on by the gov’t here….or at least not any that I have come across.  Granted, we do live out in the middle of no where at the moment.  It seems the norm for women to return to work 6 weeks after bub is born…or at least this is the age when day cares start saying they will watch babies.  I couldn’t imagine being forced back to work only 6 weeks after Tanami was born….I would be devastated!

I am SO SICK of seeing ads on TV for medication, lawyers suing over some problem caused by medication, and insurance!  It seems like these are all commercials are made up of anymore.  You don’t really see that kind of thing in Australia (the medication ads, you do see lawyer & private health insurance ones).  Yes, there are a few ads like that, but they are rare and certainly no where to the extent that they exist here.  I had forgotten about it, but after not seeing it, I am finding it terribly annoying.  Gotta keep the food full of bad stuff to keep our citizens needing medication to keep them at the Dr. making the insurance & pharmaceutical companies money which ultimately puts more money in the gov’t pocket.

I never noticed smog until I saw the blue of the Australian sky.  You don’t (and can’t unless you leave and come back) notice the smell of the air.  Even out here in the middle of no where, the air stinks.  It doesn’t anymore as I’ve gotten used to it, but for the first few days I couldn’t stand the way the air smelt.

I know not every where in America is the same…nor is every one, but one thing that bothers me after returning is the lack of enthusiasm about the environment.  We literally go through one trash bag a day in the house.  I’m used to recycling — and used to EVERYONE else doing the same because you are provided with a bin for recycling in Oz and it is much bigger than the bin for the trash.  We are using paper plates and paper towels…things we just did not use over seas.  I have to admit though, it is nice to have a dryer even if I don’t use it for Tanami’s diapers.  That reminds me, not many people at all must cloth diaper here because we drove all over in search of a diaper pail (because they are not the same for cloth diapers) and never found one.  I had to make due with a container with a top.  I’m also not used to air conditioning, and even though my parents keep it 76 in the house, I am freezing half to death.

I am finding the lay out of cities etc. frustrating.  I never understood why my husband would always tell me that the set up of places here were “ugly”.  It kind of offended me.  But now, I totally understand.  Canberra was a city created on purpose…it has a beautiful, purposeful layout.  There are residential areas – all of which have side walks – and then there are industrial areas.  I like this.  I don’t like strip malls and higgledee piggledee buildings here or there and then a house on the end.  This never bothered me before because I had nothing to compare it to…but now it just does.  Australia oozes natural beauty without even having to try, so naturally, that works in it’s favor as well.  But there is really no separation of residential and commercial…they seem to just over lap and things get built where ever.

The crime scares the poo out of me.  I could walk at any time of day or night to the city centre of Canberra and not give it two seconds thought.  I wouldn’t do that in downtown Nashville I can tell you that.  Even out in the suburbs there are constantly murders being reported on the news.  It’s unnerving because you certainly did not hear that on a daily basis, or hardly at all, in Canberra.  I wish we had the same gun laws as Australia.  I feel like I should be able to take my kid to IHOP without worrying that someone is going to bust in with a gun and shoot the place up.

I’m not bagging out America…I’m simply stating the things I notice to be different here.  Even though I personally find that my heart belongs in Australia, America is a great place for millions of people.  But, since this is MY blog, I’m pretty much going to call it like I see it.

But since it simply is not healthy for my soul to constantly dwell on my loss of the life we created in Australia, I’m soon going to be moving on to focusing more on our lives as parents — and particularly my quest to be a natural/attachment parent in a country that seems against the whole idea.  That’s ok.  I’m a pretty against the grain gal.  I’ll be changing the appearance and name etc. within the next day or two…whenever I get a spare moment.  My Brother’s birthday is tomorrow…the second anniversary of the last time I ever saw him.  I’m hoping to find some clarity and strength from the day.  I’m hoping to close this chapter of my life and leave behind the depression haze that I’ve been wading through.  I’d like to come back to the blogosphere renewed and ready to take on all of the changes that are coming our way.  At least for the next two years — and then perhaps Australia and I will meet again — until then, I’m hanging up my expat hat and putting on my big girl momma britches.

 

last week recap

I went into this week knowing it was going to be busy…but really, I had no idea!

Saturday we had our moving sale.  I’m not sure what’s worse – having people buy your things that you didn’t really want to sell…or having people not want to buy your stuff at all.  Over the course of the next few days, we were able to pretty much get rid of everything.  What we couldn’t get rid of, we’ve donated.  Tonight a lady came by to buy Tanami’s basinette…I loaded her up with all the baby stuff we had left for pretty much nothing.  She was so grateful as she is going to be a single mumma….I felt happy to help out someone that needs it so bad.  I wish she would have came earlier before we had already made one trip to the Salvos or I would have given her everything.  Anyway, Saturday night we went over to Mat’s Best Friend’s house for a BBQ to welcome his brand new Daughter.  It was so weird to hold such a tiny baby and know that Tanami was that small just 4 short months ago.  So hard to believe!

Sunday was Mat’s first Father’s Day (Father’s Day is a different day from the States).  I handmade him a card with Tanami’s footprint on it and surrounded it in chocolates.  I had intended to have a Father/Daughter photoshoot, but we just ran out of time.  We did get to spend a few hours with Sharon and her family before coming home and cooking a lamb roast for dinner.  I decided to wait until we get back to the states to give Mat his gift as the last thing we needed was yet another thing to pack.

Monday night we went out to dinner with Mat’s brother’s family.  It’s strange how having a meal in a pub here with a baby – or a family in general – is just the norm.  It was sooo good though!  Mmmm….fillet cooked on a hot rock at the table just the way I like it, yes please!

Tuesday morning we headed out to breakfast at the office.  One of my Indian coworkers were nice enough to cook for us – dairy free -.  Of course, they had two fabulous cakes that I couldn’t have any of because they did have dairy in them.  Then I got given a huge box of Australian Cadbury chocolates….all candy bars you can’t get in the States.  Most of which I haven’t even tried.  Of course, it will be a while before I can have any because of being dairy free….but when I can, look out!!  After we left there we headed out to get some install photos for my portfolio, get our eyes checked, Mat’s hair cut, and then finished the night off with a lovely dinner put on by Mandy and her Husband Andrew.  Can I tell you how wonderful she was to even have dairy free cookies?!?  Such a shame we are leaving…they are good people — you just don’t find that everyday.

Somewhere within this week I fit in coffee with Sharon & little Ms. Isabella, as well as with Serge – our American photographer who is now on a journey around the world — literally.

Wednesday was the beginning of a mad dash to clean and start packing.  It was completely overwhelming.  To add to the madness, the booking agent let us know we needed to pick up Tanami’s ticket for the plane from an office 20 kilometers away from the airport – during business hours.  This was a huge ordeal I don’t have time to go into that involved hours of time wasted, people who can’t speak English, eternal hold, and eventually a promise of express posted airline tickets.  The night ended in tears.

That brings us up to today….we got up early to clean and pack…and have been going until now (11pm).  I am happy to say, I think it is all done and ready to go.  We’ve just a few things to tidy up tomorrow — drop off the last of the donations, deposit all of our cash in the bank, dump that last of our trash at the tip, and drop our car off with Mat’s Brother to sell since we never sold it.  Mat’s Dad is taking us to Sydney tomorrow morning and we’ll stay in a hotel room until our flight Saturday morning.

Whew, what a week!!!

what i’m looking forward to

This time next week we’ll be in a tiny Sydney hotel room with our 7 suitcases, 2 laptop bags, a carseat, Baby bag, and an ERGO.  We’ll be heading to the airport quite early in the morning.  I have no idea how in the world we are going to carry all of that stuff to the airport.  We are taking separate flights from Sydney to LAX because Mat already had a round trip ticket and we saved tons by me and bub flying on Delta instead.  Luckily, it has been confirmed that we have a bassinette seat – which means I won’t have to hold Tanami the entire time and she’ll have a place to sleep on the plane.  We leave about 10 minutes apart from each other.  Fingers crossed that they even let Mat board the plane.  Nevermind my complete and utter fear of flying over the water or the fact that I had to drug myself on the way here.  I suppose I will be too busy with a baby to pay too much attention to it.  One week left in Oz.  I’m pretty broken hearted over it.

I’ve changed.  This country has changed so much about my life, and I couldn’t be happier about that.  I make no apologies for coming back a different person.  I think I would be doing myself a huge disservice if I came to live and experience another culture and it didn’t have any affect on my life.  One of my biggest fears about coming back is suffering culture shock from my own country.  Not only am I coming back to the States, I’m going back to a state that I haven’t lived in since 2004…a state that, to be quite honest, I have no desire to live in (no offense).  I think it will take some time to adjust.  I’m a realist.  I’m expecting a bit of depression as I mourn the life I am leaving behind.  If it happens, I am not going to fight it.  I’m going to allow myself to be sad for a while if I feel like it.

So to psych myself up a bit…I’m compiling a short list of things I am looking forward to when I return:

1.  Seeing my family and friends — especially those that I haven’t seen since high school!  As well as living close to my grandparents for the first time since I was 4.  Even though my Granny is in a nursing home, this will be the first time I can jump in the car and go see her when I want to.  It’s important to me after having been super close with my great grandparents (which I didn’t lose until highschool and later), that Tanami is able to know her great-grandparents that she has living.

2.  Food.  OMG.  Mexican.  Moe’s.  DQ.  Lucky Charms.  CHEAP groceries.  Dollar menus.  I can’t even remember all the food that I’ve been missing…but pretty sure I won’t be under 100lbs for much longer!  I think I’ll have to feed Tanami more to counteract my calorie intake :)

3.  Pay at the pump gas stations.  WHY don’t they have those here!?!  And simply being able to call it a “gas” station instead of a servo or petrol station.

4.  Cheap cost of living.  I know it doesn’t really make much of a difference that the price for something here is 3 x’s the cost of things in the States because you get paid SO much more here, but just seeing lower prices on price tags is nice.  It will be hard though to not know the full price of things before checking out (in Australia, the tax is already included in the advertised price and not added on at the check out).

5.  Shopping carts that only turn with the front wheels!!!  Though I get a serious ab work out from steering the ones where all the wheels turn.

6. Squirrels.

7. Mailing things from my mailbox instead of the post office.

8. Having a dishwasher & dryer

9. Having all of my good quality stuff back…especially my car!

10. Halloween, Thanksgiving, & the 4th of July.

Yep…those are some things I’m looking forward to!

30 days to go

This time next month we will be somewhere over the Pacific.  The baby and I on one flight…and Mat somewhere around 15 minutes ahead of us on another.  My biggest concern about flying is that I have to put my kid in disposables…and she HATES them.

I am IN LOVE with cloth diapers.  Just when I thought they couldn’t get any better, I discovered swapping websites!  People trade these things like baseball cards!  People also love to buy used ones.  Basically, if you play your cards right, you could diaper your baby from birth to toilet training for free!!  I spent $200 total on Tanami’s Fuzzibunz in small.  They will last from birth to 4 months…would probably be longer if she wasn’t such a porker.  I will then take the money from the sale of those (exactly what I paid for them), to go towards her Itti Bitti Mediums.  When the time comes, I’ll sale those and get larger ones.  I’ve got a bid on some One Sizes also that will carry her until potty training.  No diaper rashes, no smells (seriously, you can’t smell them until you change them), cheap, and super cute colors/designs.  I just got her itti bittis today and I love them!  No leaks, went through only 3 diapers in 9 hrs, and they are minkie on the outside — which is like suede or something.  I didn’t push them…but apparently you can go about 5 hours without a change with the added boosters I have in them.  Insides are organic materials and keep her super dry.  FuzziBunz rarely leaked, but I usually changed her every two hours during the day.  So…it’s cloth all the way for us.  I’m *considering* elimination communication to potty train her starting around 6-9 months…but we’ll see where we are at in life as to whether I go that route.

So, 30 more days in Oz.  Bitter sweet.  I am trying to make the most of my time.  That means peeling myself away from the computer and getting things done.  We’ve sold a bulk of our stuff.  YAY!  We need to get Tanami’s Australian passport in the event we do need to turn around and come back….but also just because she needs to have it.  I’m going through our life here in Oz and deciding what’s important and trashing/donating/selling what isn’t.  It’s hard to part with things that we’ve accumulated here because they are from our life here.  They are from a time when I know I was incredibly happy.  A time when our family went from two to three.  I’m visiting friends, going to places I haven’t been to yet (and those that deserve just one more look), and tidying loose ends.  I’m trying to get back with previous clients to arrange times to get install photos for my portfolio, but that is proving to be a bit difficult with everything else going on.  So, needless-to-say, blogging anything other than a photo a day has been on the back burner.  We are also trying to make sure everyone is healthy and ready to come back with no insurance.  Eye exams, vaccinations, check-ups…the whole 9.  We’ve got family coming into town, yard sales, parties, and packing in the coming weeks.  Busy, busy, busy.  Tomorrow we are going to hang out with one of the readers who I met through my blog :)  You can find her here.

I’ve figured out the new name of the next chapter of my blog, and what direction I will be taking it once we get back into the states.  I know I will lose many readers that are reading only for Australia…and some that don’t care about the new topic…but I’ll gain some and retain a few and it will continue on as my way to remember the bits and pieces of my adventurous, never-a-dull-moment life.

PS – 30 days to go, and still no green card to be found!

busy week.

Current status: recovery mode.  We’ve been on the go for the last 7 days…but it’s been awesome.  Jayme got into town Wednesday after spending two days in Sydney.  The first place I took her to was the mall – doesn’t sound exciting if you are from the states, but it’s a central hub of activity in Canberra.  Besides, she didn’t get in until 4pm and Oz pretty much calls it quits at 5:30pm.  She made friends quite early with the babe after giving her a blankie monkey.

<3

Part of me wishes she would have come when I was still baking Tanami because it would have been much easier to be able to jump in the car and go without worrying about all things baby.  We managed to have a pretty good time anyway.  Thursday we hit up the War Memorial…which I’ve talked about and posted numerous photos of so I’ll just say it was wonderful as usual.  Friday we went to Tidbinbilla and Jayme was able to see roos, rock wallabies, and foul of all sorts.

bush walking

black swan

It was so cold at Tidbinbilla you could see your breath.  It wasn’t quite as magical as I remember it being because it’s winter.  Everything is brown, dead, and the animals were hiding somewhere warmer.

We headed up to Mt. Stromlo to check out the view…not bad I’d say…not bad.

beautiful

a bit windy

space observatory on mt. stromlo

burnt out space observatory

Saturday we had plans to go to the National Gallery and into Civic.  We got up, got ready, and were about to walk out the door when I realized I could not find the keys.  After an hour and a half of looking, we found out Mat had accidentally took the keys to work with him when he was riding the bus.  The next bus wasn’t due to come until 2pm, and Tanami’s carrier and pram were in the car, so we decided to have a rest day and hang out at the house.  That night we left the baby with Daddy and headed out to Max Brenner’s Chocolate Bar.  A bar where they serve nothing but chocolate….chocolate drinks, desserts, and even chocolate pizza.  Sunday we were up early and headed off to the South Coast.

Unfortunately, I left my camera memory card at home because I had taken it out the night before to print off Tanami’s passport photos.  So I had to be very selective of my photos.  We stopped for fish and chips and walked around Bateman’s Bay before heading off in search of the surfing kangaroos.  Nevermind the fact we were headed to the wrong beach….we eventually made it.

crimson rosella

As soon as we got there we walked through a flock of crimson rosellas.  Before we knew it they were sitting on our shoulders and eating out of our hands.  I didn’t get a photo with my camera…but I did take one of Jayme with hers…I can’t wait to see how it turned out.  It didn’t take us long to find the roos in their usual spot.

surfing roos

tanami's first wild roo encounter

pebbly beach

Monday morning we dropped Jayme off at the bus station and headed to Sydney for our anniversary.  We stayed on darling harbour…and it’s just stunning.

darling harbour

darling harbour

We dropped the bags and immediately headed out.  We walked, and walked…and walked…and spent the evening under this:

sydney harbour bridge

I quickly learned that while Sydney is pedestrian friendly….it is not handicapped nor stroller friendly in the least.  Even when we did manage to find a lift (Aussie for elevator), it was out of order.  The babe was carried in her chariot along many a stair.  I also learned that it is not breast feeding friendly.  In Canberra, it doesn’t really matter where you are there will be somewhere to breast feed without doing it in public.  Most places provide a parent room with chairs, microwaves, changing areas, and such.  Even Mc Donalds has one, so call me crazy for thinking Sydney would be the same.  We finally found a handicapped/baby changing bathroom and had to search for someone to open the door as it was locked…then I get in and there is no where to feed.  I donned my super momma cape and squatted down and leaned over the pram to be able to feed her without picking her up.  Seriously, not an easy feat.  Unfortunately I’d brought bottles with me for such an occasion, but left them in the hotel.  We had dinner on the harbour and then called it a night.

The next morning we got up and headed to the US Consulate to apply for Tanami’s passport, social security #, and report her birth abroad.  It was in the tallest business building in Sydney…and the views were AMAZING!  I had to giggle though – as soon as you walked through the consulate’s doors it was so obviously American.  We were told I needed to prove my residence in America for at least 5 years.  For some reason my birth certificate and passport were not enough.  Now I have to get my high school and college transcripts.  Umm…my highschool is closed for summer break and everyone I e-mail has an auto-response.  My college wants me to fax my request, wait two weeks, and then have them mail it to me.  They said to allow 3 weeks for processing the passport once the info is provided.  Not looking good there.  I’ve got to figure something else out.  So typical — if it would have been a smooth transaction I think I would have died of shock.

We hung out a bit more in the city before we headed out to Bondi.

bananas are like $7lbs at the moment

lego exhibit

the waves were massive

pool on the ocean

on the rocks

daddy played it safe on the "right" side of the railing

but I couldn't resist jumping over

some little kid is probably missing this

it's a tradition

a walk on the beach

i <3 this beach

I have to admit, it was the first time I ever saw ice skating on the beach…

how the aussies do "winter"

winterfest bondi

We left the beach and headed home….we managed to sit in about 1.5 hours of traffic.  Love Sydney (it’s beautiful & warm), but would never want to live there.  Too many people, too much traffic, and not nearly as family friendly as Canberra.

love, Love, LOVE this country!!