should i stay or should i go…

Do you know what sucked about being under the age of 18?  Being told what to do.  Do you know what sucks about being over the age of 18?  Not having someone tell you what to do.

Keeping with my usual style, we’ve got a plan A and a plan B…neither of which involves a pill.  Poor humor, I know.  Anyway…here is the decision facing us at the moment: do we stay, or do we go?

Plan A – Buy a duplex in Nashvegas as an investment property.  We intend to rent both sides out and stay where we are, but want something that we’d feel comfortable living in if we couldn’t get renters.  Essentially, one side would pay the mortgage, and the other side would pay for where we live now.  We’re having a little bit of trouble finding one we are happy with, so we are considering a single-family home as well.  As far as work goes…there’s no interior design opportunities here.  There is a possibility I may be working at the dance studio though.  There are lots of positive things about that, and I think the main one is that they will allow me to have Tanami with me.  Mat would bring Tanami to work with him at 12, and she’d hang out there until I left at 3.  They like having her in the studio, and encourage us to bring her in as much as possible.  I’m all for doing something that will bring in extra $$ without having to send my kid to daycare.  Did I mention I did some research on it the other day and the prices ranged from $166-200/wk – plus having to buy disposable diapers — no thanks.  I haven’t worked out all the details of the dance studio gig, but I’m hoping to have a meeting with the boss soon.  My biggest concern with this plan is we’ve never even bought a house before…what do we know about being landlords?

Plan B – Move back to Atlanta, and buy one of the 50 million AMAZINGLY cheap, huge, and gorgeous houses that are on the MLS.  I think we’d probably aim for a single-family home if we go back to the A.  It will be much easier for me to find work when the time comes for that if we are there.  As much as I’d like to return back to Atlanta because TN is so not my cup of tea, it really all hinges on whether or not Mat can make enough money there by returning to his old studio.

I wish I had someone that could say “You have to do this ______”.  We are finding it difficult to make the decision ourselves.  On one hand, we both really hate TN, but my family is still going through a pretty rough patch.  On the other, we have our own family to think of now, and we need to do what is best.  Plus, I feel like we deserve to be able to live where we will be happy.  Especially since no where in America is going to make me remotely close to how happy anywhere in Australia makes me.  I think if we had our way, we’d skip over the house buying and open a studio straight away.  But, we aren’t that silly, and we’ve always done things the slow but surely way….so why mess that all up now?  The lease is up June 19th – but we can go month to month until everything is in place.

I started this post a few days ago, and in the mean time, it is starting to look like we will end up staying in TN.  There would only be a $2.00 weekly increase in Mat’s pay for us to return to Atlanta…and even though that’s really what we want, we simply can’t afford it.  Income tax and utilities would make it impossible for us to keep our head above water.

Big decisions in the works.

I think Tanami may be starting to self-wean….and I think I am going to encourage it rather than not.  Two days this week I was filling in at the studio so she went from 7am-3pm without nursing, and one day I was taking my grandpa to the Dr. and I think she only nursed once then as well.  So today, I didn’t offer her milk other than in her sippy cup…and she went from 7:30am-8:30pm without nursing.  I’m sure she’ll wake in the night to do so, but I’d rather her not.  It’s a strange feeling though.  I’ve wanted her to wean so I can have a little bit more freedom, and my body back to myself…but a piece of me is a little sad about it as well.  She still won’t drink but a tiny bit of milk from her cup, so we’ll have to see how she goes.  Weird, since she will drink lots of water from it.  So weaning adventure posts to come.  Also two reviews on two new brands of diapers coming soon as well.

 

jumping in

There are two types of people in the world.  Those that ease their way into the water…step by step, and those that just jump in.  Well, maybe more than two kinds of people because then you also have to account for those who sit in the sun and bake wishing that they were cooler, but not really willing to do anything to make it happen.  Unless you are a sun baker (someone who wishes for success but does nothing to achieve it), you have every reason to reach your goals — some just may be faster than others.

I’m a jump right in kind of gal.  I set my goals and then I go hard until I achieve them.  So far, this method has given me incredible success.  It’s not a lifestyle for everyone, and it is often one that evokes some pretty crazy looks/opinions.  This doesn’t bother me.  In fact, I welcome people’s negativity simply because it fuels my fire to prove them wrong.  I get some kind of sick enjoyment out of it.  Motivation is still motivation, after all.  So after arriving back in the land of the jobless, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands.  The last time I had a problem with finding a job in the interior design field, I just started my own business.  That worked out pretty well…and let to a pretty awesome kitchen/bath opportunity.  So I figure, I’ll try that road again.  In addition to the design business (which will always hold priority if work presents itself), I have also embarked on the J.Hilburn business adventure.

As someone who researches, researches, and then researches some more…I’m pretty confident in my decision to come on board as a partner with this company.  I am going to be working as an independent stylist — I will be my own boss, work my own hours, and be able to continue looking after Tanami the way I feel best.  I’m very impressed with the products the company offers which is luxury men’s wear and accessories.  The company basically revolutionizes the way men shop.  When you think about it…what man likes getting out, fighting the crowds, and trying on clothes?  Ok, ok, what straight man?  What J. Hilburn does for men is allow them to have a stylist come to them, be it at their home or their office.  She takes their personal measurements, listens to their preferences, and orders luxury custom-made men’s wear for a fraction of the price of what you would see garments of equal quality costing.  Our products are made from the same Italian fabric and in the same mills as super high-end designers , but are offered for less because we sell them directly to the gentlemen.  Cheaper, easier, and custom-made to the individual, well who wouldn’t stand behind that?  I’m not only impressed with the product quality & craftsmanship, but I’m impressed with the level of training and support that is offered by the company itself.  I’m headed to ATL again next week to begin the training process…that is in addition to the hours I’ve already logged in over the internet.  My friend who brought me into the company has been quite successful and can honestly say she loves her job.  I think liking what you do is a REALLY big key to success.  I personally have never thought I’d ever want to be a men’s stylist…but I have a new drive to succeed at the moment, and that’s getting this loan paid off while still providing the type of life I’d like to have for my family.  I’m not going to use this blog as a way to promote myself, but I will be putting a facebook link on my page, so if you’d like to keep up with it or show your support just “like” me on FB.  And then if you find yourself in need of my services, well then just give me a call.

Speaking of jumping in whole hog…we are also considering skipping the renting step altogether and going ahead and purchasing a duplex.  I have no intentions of buying a house in TN for my own residence, but since we are going to be here for a while we thought it might be a good idea to invest in an investment property.  We could buy a duplex, rent out one side, and live in the other while we are here.  At the moment, some of the ones we are looking at would have units that are renting out for $600/mo. each with a mortgage payment less than that.  I can’t take credit for coming up with the idea because it’s really just following in the foot steps of what one of Mat’s old co-workers did…but it worked for them and I can’t see why it wouldn’t work for us.  For what some of them are going for at the moment, we’d have the 20% down payment as well as a healthy little nest egg for the “things that break that need to be covered by the landlord”.  We wouldn’t be throwing our money away on rent, and we’d be able to live in a better area than if we were to get an apartment. This is all just an idea at the moment, but we are going to begin searching for properties and working towards getting pre-qualified.  Who knows where this road could lead.

Many people look at my life and decisions I make (usually before they come to life) and think that I’m crazy.  I can count the people that stand behind my decisions and support me through thick and thin on one hand.  I’m a cautious risk taker.  I am not afraid to LIVE, but I make educated decisions.  I can only imagine how crazy my life looks from the outside…but from the inside, all I see are all the things we have accomplished in such a short amount of time.  I know it might sound trite, but my Brother’s passing gave me the will to live life to it’s fullest.  If I was to tell him of the things going on in my life he would never be anything but supportive.  He believed in me, and I believe in myself.  Sometimes it seems like it’s me and my little family of 3 against the world…but we’re going to make it.  We might take the long way, the untraveled way, and even get lost somewhere along the way…but eventually, we are going to come out on the top…I just know it.

first steps to oz

I am always trying to cheat the quarter machine into releasing more of that Mike-n’-Ike goodness than the lever allows.  It never works, but I never stop trying.

The passport application has been submitted.  Sometime next month when it comes in we will be submitting my Spousal Visa application.  Today I informed the real estate agent we will no longer be looking for a home.  I also signed up for a forum about Australian immigration and visas.  I need all the advice I can get, and preferably from people who have been through it before.  It is seeming more and more realistic everyday.  Since we moved into our apartment in June, we had decided to only unpack the things we couldn’t live without on a daily basis.  We set up the livingroom, but our dining room is full of boxes and we never bothered to put together our bed.  With the decision of AU comes a longer stay in our apartment.  Its time now to put together the bed and start going through boxes.  Only this time we won’t be unpacking to stay, but unpacking to decide what needs to go with us, what’s going in storage, and what’s getting sold.  Funny, I seem most distraught over the fact that shipping our dishes, pots & pans, glasses, cutlery, and other kitchen appliances to and from will cost multiple times what they are worth.  Many times I found myself allowing some of my decision on whether or not we would be going to be swayed simply because of the material possessions I would have to do without.  That’s terribly pathetic and I am so glad I have moved past that.  By the time we come back we will financially be in the position to buy bigger and better things anyway.  This move is going to be an adventure that will be worth more than dishes and furniture.

We kept it calm this weekend for the most part.  I had a blast at my shoot on Saturday.  I actually think I have a little whip-lash from it.  We ditched the Soiree and stayed at home watching a movie Saturday night.  I really wanted nothing more than to be a dance teacher, but I just don’t know how much longer my body and sanity can succumb to all it demands.  Last week I got home every night with only enough time to eat dinner and go to bed…and at least two of those dinners were after 11pm.  I need ME time.  I need time to get things done that I need to get done.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I was getting paid to train, but I’m not.  The training doesn’t have any structure and it leaves me doubting my ability instead of assuring it.  In addition, I’d really love to go through with this performance at Peachtree Ball, but I am concerned what adding 8 hours of practice on the weekends will do to my already maxed out body and brain. 

Sunday was quite a lazy day.  We went to a shoot in the morning where I had to submerge myself in the freezing cold lake…oh those photos better be good…and then came home to a lovely massage and an afternoon nap.  I cleaned the house a bit, made baked cilantro chicken, and watched Coroline.  The day seemed to go on forever…my favorite kind of Sunday.

house hunting nightmare

What a nightmare buying a house can be, even after you give up!

We had an offer on a short sale home for about 3 months.  Those three months were full of frustration, false information, and misleading quotes on when we would get an answer from the bank.  A month ago we decided to withdraw the offer after being told it was going to take another month of BS to get an acceptance from the bank – which still wasn’t promised.  So we signed the Termination and Release forms and we were told our Earnest money check would be mailed back to us.  Well, one week passed, then two…pretty soon it has been 3 weeks later and still no sign of the check.  I contacted our Realtor who informed me that he had not mailed it back because the sellers stillhad not signed the T&R paperwork.  He said he would take care of it and get the check mailed to us the following day.  The money had been transferred back into our savings account as we knew the check was being returned to us.  Then last week all the sudden we were told our account was overdrawn by hundreds of dollars.  THEY CASHED THE CHECK – a month after we had withdrawn our offer.  We were furious.  The agent then told me it was his fault for telling me they would be mailing it to me when they were required by law to cash the check.  Now this was the second time we put an offer in on this house and the last time we withdrew it, the check was returned to us without a problem.  I don’t understand what the difference is with this time.  Anyway, I was told it would be mailed off this Tuesday.  Today is Thursday and he has since told me the sellers have to sign the paper before they can release our money.  The sellers are in a contract with someone else already.  If they can sign a contract to sell the home to someone else, they can sign the papers to terminate the deal with us!!!  I gave him until Monday to get the checks mailed out to us – one for the Earnest money, and one covering the overdraft fee.  If it isn’t taken care of by Monday, I am reporting them to the GREC, and then personally taking the forms to the sellers to sign.  I will get a police escort if need be.  This is completely ridiculous.  I will never do business with Century 21 or David Thaxton again.  What a nightmare.

she said YES!

Well, I already said “Yes!”  to that question…but now I am saying YES to the “Are we moving to Australia?” question.

Today was the final grain of sand that sent the decision scales tipping towards Australia.  Aside from yet another let down in the house-hunt, there was also some new info in regards to Mat’s residency.  While researching how our move would affect Mat’s American residency, we found out that we have to file an “Intent to return” form which allows him to be gone for a maximum of 2 years.  I don’t know what it was, but the thought of having a set time that we will be returning just made it seem absolutely perfect. 

Going to AU for 2 years will help us tremendously financially.  If we are able to stay in his Brother’s in-law apartment for little or no rent (but of course paying utilities), we would really be in a great spot.  We also know Mat already has a job there with a base pay that meets our student loan payment goal after taxes and conversion rates…which doesn’t include commission, so that would be the sugar on top!  Unfortunately, we are not meeting the monthly goal anymore with his job here.  I would also be covered under the medical insurance as soon as the visa is approved, so getting pregnant relatively quickly after arriving would be a good idea.  We would be able to have the baby there for much cheaper than here and get the baby bonus on top of that.  So we lose out on the tax credit incentive here to be a first time home buyer.  However, that 8K isn’t going to do much to keep our home from being foreclosed on or a loan in good standing if something happens to one of our jobs.  We will be in a better position to buy a home when we come back.  I also hope the economy is in a better position so I will have more job opportunities.  Yes, financially, Australia is our best bet for paying off this student loan monster.

There is more to going to Australia than finances.  I want to know the other half of my new family.  I want to see where my husband grew up.  I want to experience the culture and experience something other than America.  I want to feel the culture shock, the home-sickness, the little things that will amaze or frustrate me, so that I know what my husband goes through everyday for me by being here.  I know that he’d stay in America forever if it is what I wanted, I want him to know that I am willing to experience his life as well.  *As long as it comes with an expiration date*

I couldn’t say when the move will take place.  It will take about 4-6 weeks to get my passport.  Then the visa says to allow 5-8 months for processing.  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.  Then one day we will get a paper in the mail saying we have 2 months to get to Australia.  I’m so EXCITED!  Probably too excited since I haven’t even told Hubby of the decision.  Though he has told me it is my decision to make so I know he will go with it.  Luckily I am almost 100% positive he won’t be able to read my post before I see him tonight.  Finally….a decision!  Now, don’t ask me to pick the place to go for dinner.