sheer excitement

this week is for small victories.

mathew started a new (and much better, I hope) job

i joined a meet up group for mamas who are entrepeneurs in my area…and happened to meet my neighbor across the way

i sold my first custom shirt to a client and made an awesome contact (must stop wanting to adopt clients as friends)

my 8 month old daughter is peeing in the toilet…and i don’t mean the plastic baby ones either

i’ve been blessed with kind people in my life lately

]]> http://akroezen.wordpress.com/2012/01/11/small-victories/feed/ 5 akroezen bubby http://akroezen.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/when-one-door-closes-2/ http://akroezen.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/when-one-door-closes-2/#comments Tue, 10 Jan 2012 03:20:47 +0000 akroezen http://akroezen.wordpress.com/?p=2953 ]]> This new year hasn’t started out exactly as I’d hoped.  You see, we’d gotten this momentum of good things going and had slightly figured things out…but as the world does, it threw a kink in the plan.  When Mat went to work after the mandatory break they made him take UNPAID from the 24th – 1st, they told him they were not only cutting his hours from 40 to 37, but also decreasing his pay by $3.00/hr.  Perhaps some people don’t notice an extra $10K a year missing form their paycheck, but in this house, every penny counts.  Ouch.  This has come as a pretty big blow.  Especially since I am still ticked at this company for saying they were going to get health insurance and still not doing it.  We are a ticking time bomb with no health insurance.  Did I mention my baby girl has her first runny nose of her entire life, but it’s a good thing I am not one of those “rush to the Dr.” types of Mama’s because we can’t afford it.  Dear Australia, I miss you, and your philosophy that Healthcare is a RIGHT, not a privilege.

All of that is about to change.  A few new doors and other opportunities have been opened.  My husband has integrity.  He is a ballroom dance instructor…he sells an elegant, true-to-form service.  He doesn’t take ridiculous amounts of people’s money and sell them crap and call it gold.  This studio had the word “Ballroom” in their name, but they didn’t want to teach ballroom dancing…they wanted to teach country and western dancing in their blue jeans to the younger crowd but still charge them $116/lesson.  Their marketing was not matching their service.  This is probably the reason they are going under.  It’s really a shame…the financial backer of the whole thing was a really lovely lady.  Anyway…glad my husband has gotten out of their before he sank with the ship.  In one day he has left one job and been offered two with another interview tomorrow as well.  Secretly, I am hoping he takes the job at the dance studio — it’s the studio his job in Atlanta had taken their business plan from so it’s something he is very familiar with.  They are incredibly successful and friendly.  Plus I might be able to do some work from home for them.  They get my vote!!

On a different note…I have started making my own bread.  It was DELISH.  So incredibly happy with how it turned out.  Even happier that I froze two loaves worth of dough.  It took 6 hours, but totally worth it.  Dear Santa, next year I want a bread machine.

homemade wheat bread...mmmm

I’m into making things at the moment.  I’m a real Martha Stewart.  For lunch today I had homemade broccoli and cheese soup (thank you magic bullet).  Oh, did I mention, I’m back on dairy!  WHOOHOO.  Tanami has not seemed to be bothered by it.  Though I am limiting it simply because my body (while it may be smaller) feels happier when it isn’t bogged down with cow’s milk.  Speaking of making things…I’ve found a few recipes I can’t wait to try out.  Nope, they aren’t for food.  One is for dishwasher detergent, and another one is for all-purpose cleaner.  Seeing how I am into all things natural…I’m ditching the green cleaning solution that I currently use and making my own.  My kid likes to lick things…doors, the oven, the fridge…so I want to be cleaning these things that are safe for her — and if I am lucky things that might deter her from such strange activities.  Our dishwasher is pretty crap at getting things clean so I can only imagine the ick that is left on the  dishes.  No thanks.

I also broke out the sewing machine and made an attempt at sewing…a finger puppet.  So maybe there is a hole in it from where the sewing machine went absolutely crazy fast and I couldn’t control it…but otherwise, I think I did well not to sew my finger to it.  I just have a problem of wanting things to happen immediately without so much as reading an instruction manual….but I think I am going to have to suck it up and read about it a bit.

To get in the habit of practicing with my camera, I’ve started the 365 project.  You can follow me here  I don’t know if I will really complete it since I am already finding it difficult to find the time every day to get a photo decent enough to put on it.  I am wanting to change the layout of my blog a bit anyway and make it more about photos and less about words.  Don’t photos speak a thousand words anyway?  I don’t know…but I’m finding myself wanting to withdraw from technology these days.  My little shadow doesn’t allow me much time to myself and I think time is better spent doing things like showering than typing out long blog posts.

Life is changing quickly.  I can’t wait to see what this week will bring.

Reflect More.

Those moments spent in the quiet dark while rocking my girl to sleep are some of the most lending for thought.

Say Yes.

To chances, adventures, the unknown, and most importantly to the times I assume things will turn out in a negative way.

Be present.

We are in the States.  I must learn to appreciate where we are today, and not get fixated on where we are going.

Craft more.

I will conquer the sewing machine.  I will conquer the DSLR (complete the 365 project).  I will make home-made goodies.

Eat Breakfast.

Breakfast is our only meal time as a family – make it a priority.

Make plans.

Begin working on our business plan for the dance studio.

Remember ME.

I won’t neglect myself, or forget that I am more than just a wife & mother.  I have a career, hobbies, thoughts, and feelings of my own.

Live wholesome.

Real food.  Real products.  Real values.

Frugal (well)living.

Continue to pay down the loan without compromising our health or happiness.

Get healthy.

Gain weight by eating well, build muscle, remember my vitamins.

Be thankful.

A beautiful family, roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and money in the bank.  Life. is. good.

2012….ready, set. GO.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 22,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 8 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

I felt this appropriate as my 400th blog post

Happy New Year Everyone!  Be safe – Bring on 2012!!!

I rang in the New Year in flip flops and a tank top dancing swing, cha cha, and mambo in front of a huge crowd in the heart of Canberra

I spent 4 months being uncomfortably pregnant

I spent 13 hours with contractions less than 5 minutes apart, and brought a baby girl into the world exactly how I planned – completely naturally without any medication.  On April 26th at 8:30am, I morphed from a childless woman into a Mother and I held my silent, calm, perfect baby girl for the first time.

I fell perfectly into Motherhood – I relished the ability to snap back into my pre-pregnancy body in a week, loved that my baby slept for 12-hour-stretches, and felt completely at ease with this new little being.  I was incredibly grateful.

I was present for every single “first” for Tanami – the first time she smiled, laughed, grabbed a toy, sat up, crawled, pulled her self up, ate solid food, stood by herself – I know every sound, cue, and communication she makes.

I spent 9 months in a country I have come to know as home.  I savored every moment because I knew it would be coming to a end this year.

I went to the coast, to the mountains, and to the city (Sydney).  I went to museums, on bush walks, and was surrounded by wildlife.

I trained an incredible lady to take over my role after opening an Interior Design sector of the kitchen company.  I then started a new business venture upon returning to the States.

We payed off $30,000 of my student loan and made of goal of a 20% down payment on a house.

We celebrated our third wedding anniversary, his 34th birthday, and my 27th birthday.

We returned as a family to a country we had once left as a couple.  We overcame obstacles, battled negativity, and found our way again.

I changed – for the better, the worse, my self, my child, the way I thought, the way I ate, my outlook, my circumstances, my beliefs.

I’ve learned from my mistakes and successes.  I’m not the same person I was this day one year ago, and I hope that this day one year from now I am not the same person I am today.

What a whirlwind of a few weeks!!!  We’ve finally moved, unpacked, and settled into our new townhouse.  We LOVE it.  I think even if we do go through with purchasing a duplex, I’d rather rent out both sides and live here.  It’s everything we want, and if we have to stay in this podunk state at the moment, I can’t think of a better place to live.

I worked from wake to slumber for 2 or 3 days to get everything unpacked.  I’m one of those people that can’t stand for things to be in boxes.  As soon as everything was semi-organized, Mat’s Dad and Duranna got here.  They stayed for a week and spent Christmas with us.  The house was a buzzing hub of activity.  The sewing machine was going – Tanami’s glider got reupholstered with cute pink fabric with chocolate polka dots.  Naughty little hands were pulling off Christmas bows from under the tree.  Lots of Aussie tucker was made for tea.

T'was the night before christmas....

It was Tanami’s First Christmas!  Christmas Eve was slightly disappointing as my Dad (who has yet to even meet Tanami) said that he would stop by…but never showed up.  I think it is kind of cruddy that one of her grandparents would fly across the world to spend Christmas with her, but he couldn’t be bothered to drive 30 friggin’ minutes.  We’ve been here for almost 4 months and he has put no effort what-so-ever into seeing her.  I see where we stand.  That’s fine, she’s got Grandpas coming out of her ears – she won’t miss out on much.  We all put on our PJs and opened presents on Christmas Eve.  Tanami loved it.  She was just the perfect age to be able to participate even though she probably didn’t have much of a clue about what was going on.  She loved her toys anyway.  Then we got up Christmas morning and headed over to my Mom’s.

she loves him!

I think Tanami really missed her Great-PawPaw.  I think being away from their place for the week before Christmas was a much needed relief.  Christmas went pretty well  Tanami racked up, as grand-kids do.  I got a Baby Bullet – so now I can make more baby food for her.  Like I said in her blog the other day, there is some food she eats like finger food – like avocado, sweet potato, banana…but some things she prefers to be pureed.  And by puree, I don’t mean that runny mess…just mashed up.  Mat got a Magic Bullet…I’m so glad, I was getting sick of hearing about how he wanted one constantly.  We also got….wait for it….wait for it….a WASHER & DRYER.  Seriously – we’ve never owned any (well not a full-size one anyway).  We bought a used pair and had them delivered for $275…a bargain I think because they work a treat.  Yay.

Speaking of food – SO glad to be back to cooking our own!  The hunt is on for food that doesn’t contain the same ingredients as anti-freeze.  I know there are plenty of places to get organic-good-for-you food, but we also have to keep in mind we are on an even tighter budget than before.  With our first shopping trip I think we have been pretty successful – not completely, but we’ll get there.  First order is to start making my own bread!  While I have gotten used to the copious amount of sugar & preservatives in our bread, Mat’s Dad reminded me and made me want to start baking my own.  I’m open to good recipes!  ::Hint hint::

We now have two cars.  The mustang is getting a new transmission tomorrow…to add to it’s already new alternator and a few other parts.  If it wasn’t for Tanami’s car seat not fitting in it, we’d totally keep it.  But, we’ve got to have a car she will fit in since it is already a struggle with our 2 door Cavalier.  We are hoping to trade/sell the Mustang and find something else for the same price.  Fingers crossed, we REALLY need another car!

Life is slowly starting to make sense again.  My New Year’s Resolution is going to be to GAIN weight.  I am beginning to eat dairy again and it doesn’t seem to bother Ms. Tanami…so hopefully between that and less stress I will start to build my body back again.  I don’t have a single pair of jeans that fit me.  One would think, what a great problem to have!  Not really.  There is absolutely such a thing as being TOO skinny…and it’s not attractive in the least.  I miss my butt, and I am sick of hitting my tail bone because of lack of padding!

Lots of changes still to come in the new year.  Never a dull moment with us.

Mat’s Dad made it to see us this past Saturday.  We went out for tea (lunch) Saturday and Sunday.  The mustang he bought looks good…I’ll be sad to see it go.  I know it will be the car that we sell though because there is no way a carseat is fitting in the back seat.  In the meantime, once they leave in Jan, I’ll be driving it to see clients.  It’s a much better look to be a stylist arriving in a car that doesn’t look like it’s been driven through fire and beaten with a spiked club.  We will be having Mat’s Dad and traveling companion staying with us for a while.  They are due to leave the States Jan. 7th, so not sure how long much of that time they will be staying with us.  Seeing how this “traveling companion” he has with him essentially invited herself along, I’m not sure how this will all play out over Christmas.  We are very much used to Christmas being a “family-only” event…and the first I’d ever heard of this lady was when they showed up at our doorstep. Apparently her Father lives in Dallas…is it wrong of me to hope she is going back to spend Christmas with her own family so that we can enjoy our family’s first Christmas together without a stranger?

So…good things to come.  So many things to look forward to!  Setting up our first Christmas tree as a family, getting down and dirty with this new camera, busting out the ol’ sewing machine, HEALTHY FOOD, and a sense of peace and positivity.  Hoping once we have our own place (and the visitors have gone) and both have a means of transportation things can finally start to settle down.  Can’t wait.  There’s lots to look into in the new year.  We’ve got to figure out the health insurance issue – the plans that were similar to the crappy insurance I had through my employer are about $800/mo privately and unfortunately, we just can’t afford that.  It’s likely we will only be getting Tanami on a health insurance plan.  This is a bummer because I’m pretty sure something is not right with me – I’m 92 pounds and have done nothing but lose weight since getting to the States.  We need to sort out life insurance for all of us.  We’ve got to make a decision on where we want to stay for the remainder of time we will be in the States, and whether or not we want to purchase a house.  I believe when we move we will be finding our way towards an ocean.  The good thing is that I am able to take my business with me where ever we go.  I’m hoping once we have these things taken care of maybe we can relax and enjoy life for a while

Speaking of the Father-in-law, whom I so dearly love, he broke down on his journey from TX to TN.  Why?  Because we are destined to have the car he is driving, and it is only natural that it would break down.  Luckily, he broke down in Jackson, TN…which is where my best friend’s family lives.  He came through like he always does, and arranged for a family member to get Denis back out on the road.  There’s nothing better in the world than knowing you have someone you can count on for ANYTHING.  Of course, he would get the same from me.  It turns out it was the alternator…I think it has been fixed now and all is good.  We’ll be catching up with him on Saturday.

Mat is growing more and more concerned about the stability of this new studio, so we have decided to hold out on taking on a mortgage.  We were not in a hurry to begin with, so I am not terribly upset over it.  The duplex is still for sale, but has been taken off the market…so hopefully even if we do want to purchase it in the near future it will still be available.

It’s not all gloom and doom for the Kroezen clan.  We are really blessed to have some wonderful people in our lives.  Yesterday I found a package from Australia living in my mailbox.  Inside of said package was a perfectly intact glass tea pot…just like the one that had been broken.  Even better, it was sent by the same friend that had made the other one special.  While it was not the same one I had in Oz…it did come from there and so I am incredibly happy about it.  It was so unexpected and a beautiful surprise.

Today I also found two packages waiting on me when I got home from a busy day of marketing down town….

melt.

There it is kids….my DSLR…my heart is content!  Half came from a very generous soul, and half came from about 2 years of saving my “allowance”.  I couldn’t be happier about it.  Next on the list of things to do is get into a class to learn more about it.  I’ve decided to start the 365 project (where you take a photo a day for 365 days – don’t worry, I won’t be posting that here) to keep up with my progress of learning.  I’m going to start it out with the first ever photo I took with the camera.  I love love LOVE it.

So life is bitter sweet at the moment.  A little frustrating, a little rewarding…but never a dull moment.

climbin' boxes

Another thing that is rapidly developing is Tanami’s ability to fight sleep.  For the love of all things holy, I do not know where the demons that have taken over my child have come from.  Once upon a time, I was blessed with a *nearly* perfect 12-hour sleeper.  I left her somewhere in Australia.  Since we have been back the kid wakes up all night long.  I find these are my most challenging moments as a momma.  There are nights when I swear I just want to put her out on the front porch and go back to sleep.  Our bedtime routine starts when she falls asleep after her bath between 7:30-8pm.  She then wakes up around 9-9:30pm and sometimes will go back to sleep until Mat gets home, but usually not.  Then once Mat gets home, well she is wide eyed and ready to party.  We then spend the rest of the night trying to get her to sleep.  She normally gives in around 12-1am.  After that she wakes up every 1-2 hours.  I normally put her pacifier back in her mouth and she’ll go back to sleep.  Around 5ish I give up and put her in the bed with us.  If I need to get up early in the morning I put her in bed with us so I don’t have to deal with the constant getting up.  I can’t do this when we move as our bed is not going to be sitting on the floor like it is now.  I am REALLY growing tired of this whole routine, and I am desperate for it to change when she gets her own room.  I know it is difficult for her to stay asleep when she is in the dining room.  I’m not into the whole cry-it-out method, boozing, or drugging her up…there’s gotta be a better way!

I’ve started going to a couple of networking groups.  One is a business referral group, and I think it is going to be a wonderful resource.  It’s a group that only allows one person per type of business so there is never any conflict between members as far as referrals.  We meet every Wednesday morning, and they are a hilarious group of people.  The other is simply a positivity-based group that meets at a more local location once a month.  They are lovely people, and it is great to have some positive support coming my way!  Networking has been my biggest challenge because I came back to a place I haven’t lived since I graduated high school.  I don’t have a store front, so the only way I can let people know about the business is through networking and word of mouth.  I’ve met some great people, and have a few irons on the fire now.  It’s taken a little while, but I think I’m finally heading in the right direction.  It’s been so nice to be able to keep Tanami out of childcare.  I don’t know how long I will be able to do that once business picks up, but it’s my goal to only meet with clients in the morning hours so I can do the “paperwork” side of the business while I am at home with the girl.  She’s my motivation to succeed.  She’s the WHY, the reason that I can let other people’s negativity roll off my back.

I haven’t gotten much support from family when it comes to my business – with the exception of my husband of course.  People tend to judge other’s decisions using their own self-esteem.  Just because you don’t think you could do whatever I set out to achieve does not mean that I can’t do it.  I haven’t asked for help – or for them to purchase something or anything like that – but I do expect some sort of encouragement just through attitude and words.  Luckily, I have had friends step up to fill in the holes…they’ve been willing to let me measure them, share my business cards, spread the word, and so on.  But they get something out of it as well.  For example…at the moment, if you sign up for an account here it’s free, and you can then send invitations for your friends.  These invitations will give them $50 off their first order of $100 and then you’ll get $50 credit.  So if you get 4 people that make a purchase, you get $200 (that’s 2 custom made shirts!)  Pretty sweet deal.

Things will be much easier with the business when we get a second car.  The plan was for the Father-in-law to purchase a car on his trip to the States and leave it with us.  We’ll give him our car in Oz to sell and keep the $$ from in return.  The one request we made was that he get a 4 door because the 2 door we currently have is such a royal pain when it comes to getting Tanami in and out of her rear-facing car seat (which we won’t be forward facing until she’s 18-24 months).  So he called us the other day to let us know that he purchased a…drum roll please….2001 ford mustang.  Awesome car – for someone who does not have a baby.  I have a feeling the car seat will be even harder to fit in the mustang because it doesn’t have the seat in the middle in the back, which is where her seat is currently in our cavalier.  So we’ll be selling one of the cars when he gets here with it.  My guess is that someone would buy the mustang over my POS.  At any rate, we will have two ways to get around, and we’ll have his Dad in town for a while.  My In-laws rock, by the way.

Mat’s going to put in our application for an apartment tomorrow morning.  We’ve got an appointment with a real estate agent to view the duplex yet again this weekend.  So things are looking good.  I’m looking forward to being in our own place and cleansing ourselves of the negativity we’ve been bathing in for the last 3 months.  So ready to live life the way we see fit without criticism, and get back to eating preservative/additive free as we were in Oz.  Can’t wait to get in and get things decorated for Tanami’s first Christmas!  I’ve got some good leads in the pipe-line and some upcoming appointments and events with clients next week.  There’s still that fear of uncertainty, but I think we are headed in the right direction.