my brother, my angel

Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson

Walter Scott Moravits

Walter was born September 30, 1973 in Houston, TX.  His friends and co-workers knew him as Scott but to his family, he was J.R.  He graduated from Sacred Heart in Schulenburg, TX .in 1991.  I was in the first grade, and remember bawling my eyes out when they played “Love will build a bridge”.  I was convinced my Brother graduating meant I would never see him again.  He attended LVN school in Hallettsville and then achieved an Associate Degree in Nursing and practiced as a RN in various hospitals including Breckenridge ER in Austin.  He attended the police academy in Victoria, TX and served as a volunteer police officer in Weimer, TX.  This is where he met one of his closest friends, Eric, whom he was roommates with off an on for the next 12 years.  He later moved to Austin, TX where he became an employee of Hyatt Place.

My Brother helped when he could, listened when it was needed, offered advice, provided a shoulder, and was known as a caring and good person.  He enjoyed being by himself.  He was soft spoken and secretive…he was funny and he sucked at board games.  He loved movies, cars, and electronics.  If it was a cool gadget, he had to have it.  He was sarcastic and would not stand for someone to treat him badly or walk over him.

My Brother was 2 months shy of 11 years old when I was born.  He named me after a little girl at school that he had a crush on.  I didn’t get to grow up with him as he stayed with my grandparents when we moved to TN.  I spent time with him every summer.  He spoiled me.  He made me toys, he brought me a purse full of bubble gum when I got my mouth piece taken out, he told me ghost stories, and he always said “tighter….tighter….is that all you’ve got?” when I hugged him.  I was the first person in the family he came out to.  The only thing I ever feared for my Brother was that he would never find someone to truly love him as much as he deserved to be loved…and he didn’t.

On Oct. 9th 2009 at 3:46am, my Brother died.  14 minutes before Eric came home and found him.  He had accidently taken too many sleeping pills.  It was normal for him to take more than he was supposed to.  The official cause of death has been listed as Accident – Drug Toxicity.

At his funeral I listened to friend after friend tell me how proud he was to be my Brother.  I was his “pride and joy”.  I only hope he knows how proud I was to be his sister.

I love you big Brother.  I miss you so much.  Though you’re gone, you’re still here…in my heart, in my tears.

Come stop your crying

It will be all right

Just take my hand

Hold it tight

I will protect you

from all around you

I will be here

Don’t you cry

For one so small,

you seem so strong

My arms will hold you,

keep you safe and warm

This bond between us

Can’t be broken

I will be here

Don’t you cry

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart

Yes, you’ll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

You’ll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You’ll be here in my heart, always

Why can’t they understand the way we feel

They just don’t trust what they can’t explain

I know we’re different but, deep inside us

We’re not that different at all

And you’ll be in my heart

Yes, you’ll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

Don’t listen to them

‘Cause what do they know

We need each other,

to have, to hold

They’ll see in time I know

When destiny calls you

You must be strong

I may not be with you

But you’ve got to hold on

They’ll see in time I know

We’ll show them together

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart

Yes, you’ll be in my heart

From this day on, Now and forever more

Oh, you’ll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You’ll be in my heart, always always

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Our last text: Oct 8, 2009 7:40pm

JR: Hey baby sis.  You at work?

Me: I live at work.  I’m here until ten.  What’s up?  Want me to call you when I get off?

JR: No that’s ok.  Nothing really.  I’ll send it to you in an email.  Totally not important.

Me: It’s always important!  I’ll check it when I get home. 

JR: Thanks. XOXO

I’ll never know what you wanted to tell me.  I’m sorry I was at work.  I’m sorry I didn’t call you.  The best part about having your iPhone is that it saved every text we ever sent since you got it more than a year ago.

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Darling Baby Sister,

Has anyone told you that you look much better with lighter make-up? The dark colors have got to go unless you are like doing that whole vampire scene. hehe. :-p

Glad to get to keep up with you more. You probably keep up with your website pretty well.

Not much new here. Just work and sleep. Getting plenty of both luckily. At least one of us is having a life though. Keep me posted.

Love,
JR

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Your pics on myspace or amazing. When did you get those done? They look more recent than your last model pics. Hope you don’t mind that I saved the one with you leaning against the wall in that white top, and the one with your hair curled that was mostly a headshot. I have been grabbing everybody at work and making them look at them. he he. No one is safe from my bragging. :-p

Love,
JR

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OMG, Happy (belated) B-Day. I have been in such a daze
that I forgot about it. I totally suck as a big
brother. I am so so sorry. I am sure you will enjoy
being 21 finally. It didn’t change much for me as I
recall. I drank less after I turned 21 because it
wasn’t as fun anymore since I could do it whenever I
wanted.

I am glad to hear you are seeing somebody. And Mom
would oh so kill you if she found out his age.

Not much else going on. I have to get to work but I
might write you more in an email a little later
tonight.

Love,
JR (your forgetful big brother) 

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So what the hell else is new?

Good grief getting information from you is like trying to milk a bull.

Love,
JR

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Hello Baby Sister….How have you been? I haven’t
heard from you or even about you in a while. I know
your busy so just drop me a note whenever you can.
Hope things are going ok…

Love,
JR
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Just so you know, nobody can take your picture as good as I can. :-p

Love,
Your Wonderful Brother

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Mom did tell me that you got a better job. I was glad to hear it but wish you would have gotten one that you really liked. Keep looking though. You never know when something will open up. You know a lot of people and hopefully they can help let you know when stuff opens up that you might like better.

Tell Mat I said hi.

Love,
JR

Taken the night he went to sleep.

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losin’ you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ it
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder gettin’ up, gettin’ dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken